Wednesday, March 14, 2007

A Routine - of sorts

I went to lunch with a friend from work the other day, and she asked me what Beatrice and I did all day. It was a difficult question to answer, especially as we never actually "do" anything, other than laundry every day. Does changing 10 diapers a day count? How about changing my own clothes at least once due to spit-up? What about the 20 minute stretches where we just look at each other and talk and laugh? And up until very recently it changed daily. But in thinking about it (and yes, this is a long blog), it took 3 months but we finally have a sort of routine down. Sort of. Sometimes...
WARNING re sleeping babies: if you have (or ever had) a child that doesn't sleep well, do not keep reading this - you will hate us. Even if you think you love us, by the end of this you will hate us, so stop reading. I discovered that one the hard way in a room full of new mothers. (Also, we haven't used any books or guiding principles, so I'm pretty sure it's just down to Beatrice wanting to sleep).

6:00-6:30am: Beatrice wakes us up after some quiet talking time on her own in her crib. She usually wakes up and talks or sucks her thumb for 10-20 minutes before she really wants us to get her. Ok, sometimes she wakes up in the 5am range, but then we can usually get her to rest a bit more with a well-placed pacifier.

6:00-8:00am: Zack gets up and takes care of Beatrice - he changes her, dresses her (wow, some of the outfits...such as "Santa's helper" today in March), talks to her, reads with her, and feeds her her big morning bottle, 8-9oz. During this time, I get to sleep a bit and then pump. Fun. Then Beatrice sits in her bouncy chair and talks with Zack while he shaves, and later sucks her thumb quietly once the water starts going for his shower. After that she lays on our bed and watches him get dressed. That's usually when I come back into the picture, and all 3 of us sit around and talk and coo. Beatrice also enjoys Zack's blackberry screen. Then we say goodbye (and for Beatrice "goodnight") to Daddy and he leaves to walk to work. Maybe as it gets warmer we'll start joining him on his first part through Regent's Park.

8am-9am: Bea naps. Ah....

9am-9:15: She nurses

9:15-12pm: Beatrice helps me get ready for the day. We usually start with her in the bouncy chair and me showering. Then she helps me pick out what I'm going to wear that day (luckily, she's not a fashionista) and then we start some laundry. After that we tend to do a tour of the house, looking at her favorite things. The bookshelves are still the best. Clock seems to have fallen out of favor a bit. Beatrice also plays by herself for a while in the living room - first on her tummy, then after rolling over, on her back. Normally we make it outside sometime between 11 and 12.

The afternoon (12-4pm): Then our routine completely falls apart. The anchors of the day are still nursing - so that's usually at 12/12:30, 3/3:30/4, 6/6:30/7, depending on any number of things. Napping in the afternoon is usually limited to when Bea is in the stroller outside, although she does spend much more time awake and "sitting up" in her stroller looking around now. We normally get outside for a couple of hours sometime each day between 12 and 3 - for a walk, to go to the clinic and weigh her, to meet a friend for lunch, to "Mummy and Me" yoga with Cristina and Sofia on Tuesday's, to play group on Monday afternoon, or just to get out of the house (yesterday we happened upon the Royal Artillery Guard marching up the High Street!). Beatrice still likes the BabyBjorn carrier too, especially now that she can face out, but I can't carry her for that long in it, so it is restricted to local adventures only.

The late afternoon (4-7pm): This is cranky time. Beatrice starts getting fussy around 4 or 4:30. That's when I'll try to put her down for a nap in her crib, usually without success. Around 5 I'm typically resorting to bouncing and singing and changing activities every 5 minutes. This is when having Alex or Lara here is wonderful.

6pm the face rubbing starts and then I know I have 15-20 minutes before the real crying begins. So it is a mad dash to the bathroom for a quick bath. We can slow down once she's in the water because she likes it, but once out of the bath I look like I'm working in the Nascar pits to dry her, diaper her, and dress her in under a minute. Then it is our "Night-Night" routine: kiss me, kiss anyone else who is here, kiss Daddy's picture, kiss Beatrice, then we go to her room, which is now dark, then she nurses, and then I wake her up enough to say goodnight again and put her in her crib, show her Bunny, and then leave.

Then it is a waiting game. For the next 1.5 hours any of the following could happen: 1) she falls to sleep immediately but wakes up 1 hour later and fusses a bit, but goes to sleep after I go back in and pacifier her (60% of the time); 2) she falls to sleep immediately and doesn't wake up until morning (20%); 3) she screams off and on every 5-10 minutes for the next 1.5 hours (20%). You can guess which option I least prefer.

Nighttime: But regardless of how she goes to sleep, Beatrice will then sleep through until 6-6:30 the next morning!! We are very lucky. Except for today, when we heard the most beautiful sound in the entire world...Zack's alarm at 7AM!!! Even more wonderful, Beatrice was wide awake at 7am, she was just in her crib, sucking her thumb (ah...), and looking around. HALLELUJAH!

Of course everything changes on the weekend when Zack is here too. The fussiness is much less and starts later. I think she just gets bored with me by the end of the day, and vice versa, during the week.


Oh, Zack and I do have one rule that has seemed to help us with the sleeping through the night that we started after she was 3 months old. I read somewhere that at 3 months babies can pacify themselves, but before that they can't. So our one rule is that now once Beatrice goes Night-Night for real (i.e., in the dark room, in her sleeping bag, ready for bed), we're not taking her out of her room again until morning. She can cry and we'll come in (after a few minutes), and even pick her up if she's really going crazy, but she's not coming out of her room until morning. Is that the "secret", as one new Mom asked me? I doubt it. My guess is little Bea just likes to sleep. I'm sure if we ever have another baby that one will not sleep through the night for 14 months...like a certain little brother I know.

1 comment:

Chase said...

That's great! Sounds like you've got a good routine down. Unfortunately we never did get the hang of a routine, except the "no routine" routine.

And yes, afternoons can be tough. I'm thinking about introducing an afternoon walk to try to break the cycle. But it's still too cold here... let me know if you find anything that works.